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Aug. 6th, 2009

So apparently I'm not a nice person. Big deal. Maybe it's becoming part of my personality. Who knows. Maybe I don't have control over how much fate wants to fuck me or maybe I'm learning to be bitter and accept it. Whatever.  ODD has major potential to turn into ASPD. So be it. I'd rather not care about anything then be like fucking this all the time. I'm not an angry person. Or at least I wasn't. I wasn't born to hate. But people seem to insist on it. So fine. You think I'm a mean person then that's what you'll get. An unrestrained bitch that just doesn't care anymore.
I am watching a banned episode of pokemon. Ooooo. Scary? Sexy? Why is it banned? Because it cause epileptic seisures. Fun.
Alright. So. Hi. Just felt like saying that I guess...
So fuck it all. I've been bitchier than hell lately and I can't stand it. It helps that ria showed me how to get all the music I want, but it doesn't help that I have Star Trekkin in my head. And my mother's made everything worse, like she always does. I just feel like doing something rash and dammit I can't think of anything! Do you know how frustrating it is when you can't think of something stupid to do? I mean come on, stupid stuff is usually pretty fucking easy to think of, but nooooooo, my fucking mind has to dwell on all the boring ones. Pfft. Good for nothing brain.



Well it seems I hardly ever post in this thing. I just felt like it now. I report that Breana has just experienced a great bout of depression and did subsequentially have a glass of water and two pieces of toast. Oh, and a glass of whiskey. She also has a kitten on her chest. Breana is definitely feeling much better. But she is smart. Like I said, I did have water and bread...and 7 shots. Heheheheh. But alas, I am not drunk, just tipsy. I wish it was possible for me to get drunk without getting alcohol poising. Damn alcoholic bloodline. Aww now Butters is chewing on my ear. And now he is giving himself a bath on my chest. And I am going to take a nap and finish my paper when I wake up in a few hours, which I undoubtedly will.

Edit: Alas, some minutes later it seems that insomnia haunts me even with a depressant like alcohol. But at least my face is pleasantly numb...well sort of. I guess when I'm depressed alcohol has some sort of effect on me, even though it is small. Then again, it is 7 shots. And I don't think it even qualifies as tipsy. What a shame. Enigma is very pretty though. I set my watch alarm for 2 so I can continue working on my paper then, but I might not even fall asleep at all till then. I am quite enjoying rambling though...you could say that it's because of the effects of alcohol, but really I doubt it. I've just been so depressed for the past few hours that it feels good to just ramble. None the less, I think you will all presume that argument false. Oh well. Gravity of Love is a great song. You know Maria, there was  an Enigma album that you promised to buy me, several years ago...I don't know if you remember. I don't remember which one, but I do know that every time I want to buy it I don't because you wanted to buy it for me. It's strange how I have such a bad memory, but sometimes I remember really random things. Perhaps it's an outlet of my fucked up mind. My memory is really a result of several ting (in case you wanted to know). 1. My medication. 2. Symptoms of BPD: repression, and possibly 4. laziness. For all of this I've been closing my eyes and just letting my fingers go. Now I'm going to look up and see how many mistakes I've made... hmm, not bad. 6 grammar mistakes and 8 spelling mistakes...but the spelling is partially from my natural bad spelling. Of course though I corrected my mistakes as best I could though. I'm going to close my eyes for a while...though I doubt I'll actually fall asleep. Wish me luck...


Well fuck. It's five fucking O'clock and I'm wide awake. I'm at my mom's house. I'm seriously considering heading to the gym cause I have a free trial there and it is 24 hour fitness. Seems a little stupid though, not sure why. I just hate being bleh like this. We go to brunch at 9:30, but I'm hungry and awake now.  Fuck my sleeping cycle.


Gacked from Aie and Ria



Well things are kinda nice actually. My grandma is very European so everyone knows she loves tea and for holidays and whatnot her students' parents buy her different types of tea and stuff. But grandma is old and set in her ways so as much as she appreciates everything, she doesn't drink any of it. Muahahaaa...so I get it. There's that really good Numi tea that is specially wrapped about little flowers that bloom when you steep it in the little glass teapot. I'm drinking that right now. SO good. And then last night I had my first taste of scotch. Damn good scotch too. 50 year old single malt special reserve imported from Scotland. We happened across it by chance. There was barely a shot left. My dad and I split it. SO good. Then he opened this bottle of vodka he got for his birthday. I usually don't like vodka. Normally good vodka is disltilled 3 times. This stuff was from the Netherlands and distilled FIVE times. Oh it was yummy. We had the usual mediocre wine with dinner, but afterwards we had a higher grade one. The liquor was still the best though. Right now I'm having a really good merlot. Ten years old. Very light. Yum. Later we're opening the 1985 bottle of REAL Champeign that grandma got as a present from this guy. Oh, last night, after I had all the alcohol and was nursing the second glass of that really good wine, my dad and I watched The Carbonite Manuever. OMG. It makes the spinning rubix cube that much funnier.

Oh boy. I can already start to hear my cousin and my grandmother arguing over the kitchen. Ai.

Apr. 8th, 2009

Pretty useless this seems. I hardly ever post. I'm in a rather peculiar state of mind, being that I'm reading a rather well written fic about Dr. Crane. The author has some theories that actually make sense. Tomorrow I have to get up at 7 to got to school to practice a stupid scene with a boy from my drama class. Then I'll be stuck at the library or in San Marcos from about 9 till 3-ish. How blase.

On another note, the other species has been useful today. I was letting Kevin play around with Word on my laptop. He was asking what buttons do what and things of that nature. He found two buttons that I had never noticed before: page up and page down. A five year old who has very little experience with a computer taught me something I didn't know. Then later, Peter showed me that the orange line on Patrick's mouse area can be used like the two finger scroll on a mac. I didn't know that either.

Holy Fuck

Take a look at this. I got it from jantra