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Tonight was another one of those nights. The ones when I cry for no reason. Chemical imbalance. Pft as if it’s not enough for me to have an unstable personality my brain has to be fucked up too. Thank god there’s a million medicines out there for me to try. Well actually there’s only about 20 and only half of those are ok for me and I’ve tried more than half of that. So I’m running out of options. Saphris worked well enough but it tasted so bad I went days without taking it. And this new stuff is absolute shit. Ties my stomach up in knots and I’m producing enough water to be classified as a source. But I've only been on it for 7 days. Not really enough time to conclude if it's at it's full strength yet. But stupid doc only gave me a 7 day sample. Have to fill a damn prescription to keep going. Well fuck now what?

There's a fucking mosquito making love to my screen and it's pissing me off...

Bartending dammit that's spelled right is going well. The instructor's a bit loose but in this society everyone is. Except maybe Catholics but hell how many of them are around? I guess I can't go into an environment that lauds something like getting people to buy more drinks gets you more money and expect people to be strait aced. Not that I want that. Far from it. I welcome the inconsistency. Maybe that's my problem. The ground's always moving so fast so why waste time trying to stay still? Running with it increasing your probability of flying. If that makes sense. Of course it doesn't, but hey my brain's in rehab right now so you can't expect much. You know now that I think about it, the proverbial you can be subjective. Like usually when I think someone might have a problem with me I'm comparing it to how my parents would see things. Maybe everyone has a point of reference. Or maybe it's just part of my fuckedup-edness. I like that word. I'm feeling a little bitter. Can you tell?

Hmm I haven't written like this in a while. I'm teaching Ron and Mel how to sew. Only one problem. The fucking machine is having issues. And the fucking internet is being a bitch too. But oh it'll work perfectly. In the bathroom. Where's the logic in that? I've been watching a lot of TNG. I'm on episode 15. Something like 100 more to go right? Their costumes are neat to make though. Gaz and Dib from Invader Zim. Takes some engineering. We managed to make a good headband for his weird hair. It looks pretty cool. Doubt that anyone even reads this anymore but it's still a place to vent.

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